just thinkin'

recently I think too much. I think 'bout many things, but everything is acquinted to me: my personality is being somehow changed; so process of changing goes on, but are the changes really good for me or not_i don't know.
somehow i am tired of relationships with guyes_I don't know why but they are annoying me.In my mind it is because that I avoid everything serious; I'm afraid of communicating with guys because i think that maybe i'll make a bad choice and i think about it too hard.I must loose this tense in my mind. Now I have a great fight with my complexes. I have decided to change my life(as i decided many times)but I hope that this is last try and I will succed.
P.S.only, I fear that all this will affect(hurt) the feelings of others.
but most of all I fear to hurt my parents.